I have been wondering whether or not to write this blog as my mind hasn’t been in the best place over the last couple of weeks, but after much thought, I thought that my story would help others, so here goes nothing!
So, as many of my readers know, I turned 25 back in October, and we know what turning 25 means…the dreaded smear test. I think I received my letter a couple of weeks before I turned 25 but hadn’t changed my doctors so only got around to it recently. I booked my appointment in, then had to cancel, so finally booked it on the 29th January.
To be honest, I wasn’t nervous about it at all (probably due to me having something similar done previously). However, when you are waiting in the doctors waiting room, you can’t help feeling nervous, I even feel nervous for an asthma check-up…
I got called into the nurse’s office, and she explained to me what was going to happen, asked me some questions and then proceeded to tell me what the results will mean. I just nodded my head, not paying any attention due to me just wanted to get it over with. The nurse was lovely and made me feel at ease, and it was all over in about ten seconds. Of course, it felt slightly uncomfortable, but that was it – no pain, nothing. I politely thanked her, and she said I would get my results letter in two weeks.
I kind of forgot about it for a little while, until a week later I received a letter in the post. I shake off a lot of post as it usually junk, but I opened this one as soon as I was home. I opened the letter and saw it was from the NHS and thought to myself that I didn’t think I would get my results so quickly. I read the letter, and my heart dropped. The letter said that they had found abnormal cells in my cervix which are high grade (severe) dyskaryosis. The first thing I thought is ‘does this mean I have cervical cancer?’ My world stopped for about 10 minutes. Before I could speak to anyone about what has happened, I jumped in the shower and had a little cry in there. My boyfriend read the letter and found my some more information online about what this meant and re-read the letter again. It told me that I would receive another letter shortly confirming my colposcopy appointment. So, the next few days went by and then I received my letter and a courtesy phone call confirming my appointment for Friday 16th February.
The week dragged by as you can imagine, I shed a few tears and just wanted to hide from the world – all whilst battling a nasty cold!
My Hospital Appointment
Before I knew it, the day came, and my appointment was at 10am, and as you know hospitals are always running late, so I finally saw the doctor at around 10:30am. With my mum there to hold my hand, the doctor explained what was going to happen. He told me that I would need the LLETZ procedure instead to remove these cells so that they can be sent off for testing. I had read about the procedure previously whilst looking online, but I tried not be scared as I just wanted it to be over with.
So this procedure basically meant that they would look at the cells then inject my cervix with local aesthetic and cut away the abnormal cells. Of course, I wasn’t thrilled about being injected (and it is as uncomfortable as you can imagine). The nurses were completely lovely, and my mum was there to hold my hand, and it was over rather quickly. After I had got dressed, had a cup of coffee and stopped feeling dizzy the doctor told me that it all went okay, but he thinks that the cells were only pre-cancerous, but they need to be sent off for testing.
After the procedure had taken place, I went back to work as the girls at work had already planned a few drinks and some food in town. As the day went on, I felt a little sore, but I think I numbed out the pain with too many glasses of wine!
When I woke up Saturday, I felt completely fine and carried on my day as normal. However, when Sunday came around, I had the worst pains which I can only describe as a constant period pain all day! I took some ibuprofen and got a hot water bottle and shook it off. When Monday morning came around I was in agony and just felt completely rubbish – I’m not sure why this pain has been delayed…
As I am writing this, it has been four days since my procedure, and I feel odd. I really don’t know how to explain it – I feel sad, anxious, sore, down and just under the weather. The doctor said that I will get emotional, but I didn’t think I would feel like this. I’m not sure if it’s because I have tried to appear strong since the day I got my results, but at the moment I just want to hide under the duvet and let the world go by. The whole process has tired me emotionally, and I just feel crap – if anyone knows why then please share your thoughts with me.
The reason I thought I would write this blog is that I am only 25. I know that on Twitter and in the news there has been a lot of coverage about people not actually going for their smear test. I’m not sure what my results are going to be (I’m sure I’m fine), but if had put off having my smear test done, god only knows what could have happened.
I am not sharing my story to scare you, but to urge you to book your smear test and actually go! Yes, I feel horrendous now, but think what could have happened if I didn’t go!
If you know are due to go for your smear, but you haven’t, please book yours in, and if you are too young to have your letter yet then make sure you book it in.
Sorry for the serious post, but I think it is one of those things that I needed to share. I have not received my results, but will keep you updated when I do!